Surat buat Anika

July 27th, 2010

Anika sayang…
Terima kasih untuk 55 hari terindah dalam hidup Mama. Setelah penantian yang sangat panjang, akhirnya Mama punya anak perempuan yang cantik. Anak perempuan yang langsung membuat Mama jatuh cinta begitu melihatnya.

Anika sayang…
Rasanya baru sebentar saja hadiah Allah ini Mama nikmati. Rasanya baru saja Mama rasakan kebahagiaan tak terhingga karena perkembangan fisik Anika yang makin pesat, tiba-tiba Anika diambil kembali oleh Sang Pemilik tanpa ada pertanyaan “mengapa”.

Anika sayang…
Jujur, Mama sangat terhempas. Mama tidak pernah menyangka secepat itu Anika pergi meninggalkan Mama. Walau jauh dalam lubuk hati kadang terbersit keinginan untuk memiliki Anika selamanya, Mama sadar bahwa itu bukan hak Mama untuk memutuskan. Mama harus menerima apapun kehendakNya.

Anika sayang…
Janji Allah adalah pasti. Anika pasti menjadi penghuni surga bersama tiga kakak Anika yang sudah lebih dulu di sana.. Anika tentu sekarang sudah berbahagia. Tolong doakan Mama dan Papa Sayang, doakan agar kami di sini selalu kuat. Tanpa pertolongan Allah tentu kami tak sanggup menghadapi ini semua.

Anika sayang…
Mama dan Papa di sini akan selalu mengenang Anika, bahkan Bang Adrian yang baru sempat melihat Anika selagi hidup walau hanya 5 detik saja. Seorang bayi cantik yang mampu menorehkan cinta di hati dalam waktu yang sangat singkat.

Ya Allah. Masukkan kami dalam golongan orang-orang yang shaleh, ikhlas dan sabar. Berilah kami petunjuk, agar kami semua dapat berkumpul kembali dalam surgaMu. Amin.

vera Anika

Back to work

July 2nd, 2010

What I hate most about getting back to work is I don’t have time to see my baby at the hospital as much as before, I don’t express milk for her as often, and I feel like my life is just the same before I had her. It makes me feel guilty :(

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Anika, 22 days old

June 21st, 2010

Starting 19/6/2010 she drinks 15 cc / 3 hours. And yesterday she weighed 740 gr! Yay.. that’s quite a progress.. keep going my little fighter! :) I couldn’t stop smiling since the nurse told me her weight..

Her oxygen saturation is reduced to 70%, the nurse said it’s one of the weaning process.. hopefully she’ll be off ventilator soon so she’s gonna be freely doing things without worrying the ventilator will be out of its position :(

The most important thing is I really hope to be able to her in my arms soon, even only in the NICU I’ve never held her once.

vera Anika, Daily ,

Anika, 18th day

June 16th, 2010

Alhamdulillaah, she weighs 680gr now.. Adding 20 gr from her last weight. She still drinks 12 cc / 3 hours. Her oxygen saturation’s still low so the oxygen supply to her blood’s still high, today it’s 80%. Her Hb’s increasing to 12.3 so the doctor said there’s no need for transfusion.. yay! Today the nurse came to me telling me she needs an ultrasound for her head, hope everything comes out okay.

vera Anika ,

Anika, 15th day

June 14th, 2010

She’s still in NICU. Her last blood test showing that her trombosit’s increasing from 102,000 to 350,000 but her leukosit’s also increasing from 8,000 to 17,500. The most worrying part is her Hb which was only 11. The doctor said he will take another blood test tomorrow, if the Hb’s dropping to 10 then Anika will need a transfusion :( .

anika 1

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My beautiful rose

June 5th, 2010

Anika Raissa, my beautiful rose.. Was born on May, 30th 2010. Weighed 650gr. Even with insufficient nutrition in the womb, she survived more than 7 months there! Subhanallaah.. The doctors said my umbilical cord’s very small, so she suffered a severe IUGR.

Now after she’s born, she needs to stay in the NICU for months until she gains another 1.5kg and manages to breath on her own. All I can do is just pray for my baby. Even with her tiny figure, she’s so lovable and I’m craving to hold her close in my arms soon..

My prayer for you my beautiful rose.. May Allah gives you strength and health, so you can come home to us, to the people who love you.. Amiin.anika

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Lesson of the day

May 16th, 2010

Always use variable when trying to modify table, or else you’ll get randomly unexpected results.. well, at least that’s what happened to me with SAP/R3 4.6D.

For example, you’ve got a transparent table you wish to manipulate named: ZTXXX.
Create a variable named WA_ZTXXX.

DATA: WA_ZTXXX LIKE ZTXXX.

CLEAR WA_ZTXXX.
SELECT SINGLE * INTO WA_ZTXXX
FROM ZTXXX
WHERE [CONDITION].

IF SY-SUBRC EQ 0.
WA_ZTXXX-FIELD1 = ‘Blabla’.
WA_ZTXXX-FIELD2 = ‘Blibli’.

MODIFY ZTXXX FROM WA_ZTXXX.
ENDIF.

vera ABAP

Recurring fetal loss (part II)

November 26th, 2009

All this time I’ve been wondering what went wrong with my body, cause I’ve got this recurring fetal loss for 3 times now. The doctor who observed me always gave partial answers… Sometimes I even thought they were only guessing the problem.. I never got the answer.

And then I got pregnant again, just found out a few weeks ago. I’m thrilled, excited, but then again.. seeing my medical history in my last recurring fetal loss, I’m worried.

Last night we went to the doctor, and you know what? the doctor said my current pregnancy wouldn’t look so good either. Well, at least we had prepared ourselves to hear it.

Now the big question is, what’s wrong? We had gone through so many tests and the result was okay. Then the doctor explained.. the problem is in my body’s metabolism. And the cause to it was lack of exercise and sudden weight gain. Somehow my eggs are not ovulating perfectly, so the quality is not good enough.

Anyway, my doctor told me to have exercise.. starting… now! Even when I’m pregnant, I’m advised to go for exercise. Okay, I’m going to start exercising today… plus… praying of course.

Here are some references I found in the internet. I guess It’s quite helpful.

http://www.ivf.com/pcostreat.html
http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.cfm

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Meaning of T004F

October 7th, 2009

T162K

Tables required: T004F, T162K

Get the index of the field in T004F from T162K.

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Bingung

July 27th, 2009

Gimana perasaan kita saat kita tau orang yang kita percaya mengkhianati kita… sakit hati, marah, bingung?

Apalagi yang ada di otak kita bahwa orang itu adalah orang yang sangat baik… flawless…

Ya Allah, semoga Engkau memberikan petunjuk apa yang harus hamba lakukan sekarang… Amin.

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